Kalau di postingan I Thought I Was A Survivor, saya mengutip beberapa twit tentang broken home dari kultwit mbak @AlissaWahid tentang apa itu broken home, dampaknya bagi anak dan bagaimana supaya bisa survive dalam keadaan itu. Nah, di postingan ini versi lengkapnya. Yuk belajar mengerti, memahami dan menolong serta mendampingi para “korban” broken home supaya menjadi survivor yang sukses.
The responsibility of a Mother to her children is to love their Dad, the responsibility of a Father is to love their Mom #brokenhome
The foremost & basic need of a humanbeing is security. After being born, the first psychological development is basic trust#brokenhome
This need for security is the foundation for the next psycho.development: autonomy, initiative, identity & so on..#brokenhome
When a baby learns that she can trust her Mother/othercaregiver, she will have a sense of security that others care for her#brokenhome
Buat manusia, finding his place in this world & having meaningful relationship adl hal dasar utk kesehatan jiwa #brokenhome
Hubungan ayah ibu mrpkn model hubungan yg tdekat utk anak. Dr sini anak belajar bgmn bangun hubungan bmakna dg org lain#brokenhome
Saat basic trust tcapai, anak mrs secured. Saat lihat hubungan orgtua, anak mbangun konsepnya ttg hubungan yg bermakna#brokenhome
Jd kl ayah-ibu bertengkar di depan anak2, apa kira2 yg sedang dipelajari si anak? #brokenhome
Saat orgtua berantem, anak belajar problemsolving, cinta, hubungan, etika, komunikasi, managing differences.. #brokenhome
Kl saat berantem, orgtua tdk pamer kemarahan dg teriakan, pukulan, lemparbarang.. Anak belajar utk tdk umbar emosi #brokenhome
Kl ibu teriak2, lempar piring ke ayah, lalu ayah menyembah2, anak belajar cara efektif mengalahkan org adl dg sikap agresif #brokenhome
Kl tiap berantem, ayah mjelek2an ibu kpd anak2, mrk blajar bhw begitulah cara membela diri dr ptikaian: umbar salah org lain #brokenhome
Kl tiap berantem, ibu lari dr rumah, atw ayah mabuk2an, maka anak belajar utk lari dr masalah, bukan menyelesaikan #brokenhome
Jd, the way orgtua berantem bukan hanya menyangkut si orgtua. Tp itu adl pbelajaran bharga utk anak #brokenhome
Isu yg diributkan orgtua tdk begitu penting utk anak. Dia tdk bs lihat siapa yg salah atw benar. Apalagi dia sayang keduanya#brokenhome
Menurut sy sih anak #brokenhome tdk hrs dr kelg bcerai. Bs juga dr orgtua yg stay together tp keluarganya gak tentram, tll sering ribut
Byk anak dr kelg bcerai tumbuh jd org dewasa yg baik & sukses. It’s bcoz the parents handle the process in empowering manner #brokenhome
Byk orgtua tdk bcerai tp anak2nya tumbuh jd org dewasa yg ‘kurang sehat’ krn ia belajar cara2 hubungan yg justru tdk sehat #brokenhome
Pceraian orgtua membawa dampak loss of security pd diri anak. Selalu. Tp ada dinamika keseluruhan pengalaman hidup anak.. #brokenhome
ada 3 jenis ptanyaan nih: how to survive, how to help survivor, how to be the best divorced-parents. satu2 dibahas ya
how to help survivor #brokenhome dulu, sdh kadung mulai bahas soalnya. yg tpenting pastikan kita bs mjd pdamping yg tepat. kita hrs kuat
how to help survivor #brokenhome : fokus beri dia unconditional love, tdk tseret saat dia moody, justru mampu seret dia balik
berat lho helping survivor #brokenhome tapi it’s worth it. kl bener2 pengen bantu, kitanya juga perlu effort ekstra utk belajar & tumbuh
RT @arifnofiyanto: That happens, b4 he was born. One of his parent left & doesn’t have those calld responsibility. Yep, his dad#brokenhome
RT @arifnofiyanto: This man, grow “almost normal”, happy, excitd until somehow he dropped down into very bad sentimental life#brokenhome
RT @arifnofiyanto: Yes, he realized his life is not complete and have a big anger to his parent for being irresponsible#brokenhome
RT @arifnofiyanto: he life in his own way, create his own world, his own imagination abt a good family, sometime he living there too much
RT @arifnofiyanto: Then, one day, the man whose shud be his father coming back & asked to be called as dad. The new man refuse #brokenhome
RT @arifnofiyanto: This guy have all in his life: intelligence, friends, confidence, except feeling the love #brokenhome
to survive #brokenhome the man needs to search inside himself, replacing old beliefs about love & relationships with new empowering beliefs
semua masalah mengandung benih2 kebahagiaan/kesuksesan utk masadepan. our #brokenhome past is a starting point to turn back our lives!
how to erase the anger & forget the pain? you can’t. you can only handle the emotions. it’s a part of you. it is what it is. #brokenhome
we can make the anger & the pain of being #brokenhome as fuels to take steps necessary in building a happy future. that’s called forgiveness
RT @kopiholico: Stars glow because of the dark. Our child would learn to always grow out of adversities & bcome winners too!#brokenhome
seriously confused with lots of questions & responds on#brokenhome.. sdh malam pulak ini.. kita simpulkan dikit dulu ya..
as parents, we should realize the way we fight & handle conflicts is very influential to our children and the adults they become#brokenhome
#brokenhome does not refer only to divorce. staying together in unhealthy relationship will give the children unhealthy environment to grow
#brokenhome is not an end of the world. it can be a start for something better, if we truly want to change or help someone change
handling a situation of #brokenhome as the survivor, helping a survivor, or the surviving parent is not easy, but it’s worth the fight
Let’s be grateful of whatever the life we have now, #brokenhome or not, for now we have a reason to build better lives!
RT @willwesley: For those from a #brokenhome, do remember that if it didn’t happen you wouldn’t be who you are now
RT @nuuii: Berdamai dgn masa lalu..memaafkan situasi,lingk,orang2 yg ikut andil adalah cara jitu keluar dr trauma#brokenhome
To start twitcussion #brokenhome tonite, I’ll share a friend’s experience as a survivor.. Thanks for allowing us to learn, dear someone..
RT @arifnofiyanto: baca timeline @alissawahid lumayan mengaduk emosi. Alhamdulillah ak sdh masuk dlm tahap menerima#brokenhome
RT @arifnofiyanto: & memaafkan masa lalu. meskipun sejarah tak mungkin dihapus tp bdamai dg masa lalu & mcoba u mencintai ..#brokenhome
RT @arifnofiyanto: .. & menerima orangtua kt apapun kondisi & kekurangan mrk adl lebih baik dibanding terus menerus ….#brokenhome
RT @arifnofiyanto: .. dibanding terus menerus btanya *kenapa* stop berpura2 hidup dlm keluarga sempurna. #brokenhome
RT @arifnofiyanto: .. walau tak terlahir dlm keluarga yg sempurna, tetapkan dlm hati bahwa kt berhak u bahagia #brokenhome
Sharing dari ms.Survivor teman @arifnofiyanto tadi menunjukkan bhw coping with #brokenhome is not so easy..
RT @rkalski: #brokenhome sbg anak, mungkin awalnya efeknya gak kerasa, seiring waktu berjalan, efeknya jadi dahsyat,
Buat kita yg bukan produk #brokenhome so easy to use logic & commonsense to cope with these ‘disaster’ but for the ones living with
Keluarga kandung adl lingkungan utama & pertama. How we sense the world comes from our early-start in the family #brokenhome
Ada 2 jenis survivor dari situasi #brokenhome : produk sukses dan produk gagal. Bedanya spt bumi & langit, walau tampak luarnya sama
Hurting-people hurts people.. Ungkapan ini paling pas utk menggambarkan para produk gagal dr keluarga #brokenhome
RT @abekanatalia: being close to some1 who survive from#brokenhome & now has broken family is quite hard for me 2 ustand
RT @abekanatalia: I don’t understand why #brokenhome stimes like a curse in family. Kadang terjadi turun menurun.
RT @abekanatalia: from my experience being close to#brokenhome survivor. He’s so self oriented and overprotected to his family.
RT @abekanatalia: and unconsiously he create another#brokenhome family. I deeply sad bout this coz I can’t do much to help. .
RT @fuadfahrudin: Sbgian produk #broken home kdg bs bsikap manis&baik d dpn smua org,tp kl sdr biasany tlihat aslinya. Mdh marah&emosian..
di alam bawahsadarnya, produk #brokenhome meyakini bhw tdk ada jaminan ia akan bs hidup bahagia, punya hubungan bmakna dg seseorang
RT @arifnofiyanto: menurut pengamatanku anak yg tlahir dari kelg#brokenhome ketika berhubungan dgn pasangannya punya 2 sikap yg jauh
RT @arifnofiyanto: @AlissaWahid ketika berhubungan dgn pasangannya punya 2 sikap yg jauh bertolak belakang. [1] overprotected [2] supercuek.
RT @arifnofiyanto: Knp overprotected? Karena ketika dia merasa ada orang yg sayang sm dia, dia tdk ingin sedetikpun kehilangan ..
RT @arifnofiyanto: dia tdk ingin sedetikpun kehilangan rasa cinta dari pasangan yg selama ini tdk ditemukan dlm keluarga.#brokenhome
RT @arifnofiyanto: kdg itu jd pemicu ptengkaran ketika pasangannya bkn berasal dari kelg #brokenhome & tdk terlalu tahu kondisi & mau dia.
RT @arifnofiyanto: Yg kedua supercuek: karena telah terbiasa tdk mendapat kasih sayang dr keluarga, biasanya anak #brokenhometdk terlalu ..
RT @arifnofiyanto: @AlissaWahid biasanya anak #brokenhome tdk terlalu cepat percaya dgn pasangannya akibatnya timbul perasaan cuek…
RT @arifnofiyanto: Dan berperinsip kalo benar pasangan cinta, harus ngerti dia kalo td ya lupakan saja 😀 #brokenhome
yg sy RT dr The Survivor #brokenhome mrpk contoh klasik perilaku yg keluar dari keyakinan kuat di tingkat bawahsadar tentang insecurity
survivor #brokenhome supersensitif thd hal2 yg kira2 bs meruntuhkan ego-nya. pdhal kesehatan jiwa ditentukan oleh kesehatan ego
semua org ingin melindungi egonya. ego yg intact/sehat membuat org punya keseimbangan mhadapi ‘cuaca’ kehidupan: ada badai, ada musim bunga #brokenhome
ego yg tdk sehat melihat ‘cuaca’ kehidupan: badai, musim hujan, musim gugur.. musim lain hanya pengantar menuju masa gelap #brokenhome
proses menyembuhkan kesehatan ego pd survivor #brokenhomememang lama & tdk mudah. to forgive is one step ahead, but not enough
struggle yg luarbiasa utk survivor #brokenhome .. utk btahan saja berat, merasakan pahit bkepanjangan, tak tahu kapan usainya..
saat jatuhcinta pd seseorang, alam bawahsadar survivor#brokenhome btanya: “apa iya aku bisa bahagia? would she stay with forever?”
krn ingin melindungi ego dr kemungkinan kecewa itu, survivor #brokenhome biasanya overprotektif. & testing the limit of her spouse..
tanpa sadar, si survivor #brokenhome melakukan hal2 yg di mata org normal aneh. mis. cinta kok cuek. pdhal itu krn dia takut terluka lagi..
now let’s move on to Produk Sukses dr #brokenhome .. ini orang2 yg, despite their situation&struggle, comes out as winners of life..
RT @AlandaKariza: (#brokenhome) … it shows how human has the power to be resilient. Bounce back higher when pushed.
dengan proses yg tepat semua survivor #brokenhome bisa kok melewati masa2 “produk gagal” to turn around and become “produk sukses”
sekali lagi, kunci kesehatan jiwa adl ego yg sehat. disaster spt#brokenhome kl dihadapi dg ego yg sehat dampaknya akan berbeda
ada dinamika proses hidup yg juga besar pengaruhnya thd kesehatan ego survivor #brokenhome bukan hanya saat2 konflik itu
si A yg bahagia saat ia balita, orgtua mulai konflik saat remaja akan beda kesehatan jiwanya dg si B yg dr kecil hidup dlm #brokenhome
si C yg #brokenhome tp dekat dg ayahnya & melihat kematangan ayahnya, beda situasi jiwanya dg si D yg lihat ayah mabuk, ibu depresi ..
all I’m saying is: be wise memandang/menilai org2 yg struggling dg#brokenhome .. they’re hurting, & they haven’t known any better
RT @NenoNeno: Mba makasih ya tweets nya malam ini. The only wishes from a #brokenhome is to be listened, understood & loved unconditionally
moving from Failure to Success from #brokenhome starts with focusing on the ego.. Ego kita mencari kedamaian. Damai dimulai dr titik nol
Titik nol adl titik dimana kita let go of segala hal yg telah tjd dlm kehidupan kita. Everything happens for a reason, tmsk #brokenhome kita
di titik nol, kita belajar utk memaknai #brokenhome sbg cara Tuhan menyampaikan pesan pd kita. kita terima rasa sakit itu sbg .. (1)
kita terima rasa sakit akibat #brokenhome itu sbg bagian baik dlm hidup kita, krn kita justru lbh bijak dr org2 lain karenanya
bekali diri dg lingkungan jiwa yg tepat: teman2, buku2 yg membuat kita menambah input ttg survivor yg sukses
“I never found anyone who could fill my needs, so I learned to depend on me” dr Greatest Love of All itu bener banget#brokenhome
sooner or later, all of us learn that we can only depend on ourselves. you, from #brokenhome families have the chance to learn the hard way
merelakan “kesalahan” orangtua #brokenhome.. mrk tak hendak melukai kita. mrk hanya tdk tahu bgmn memberi yg terbaik pd kita ..
stl bdamai dg diri sendiri di titiknol #brokenhome, start your journey to build a healthy ego .. Learn to love yourself. klise, tapiii
Love yourself. You are someone special, that’s why God blesses you with a burden, that is #brokenhome .. you are stronger than you think!
bcoz you have left the hurts on point zero of #brokenhome you can now focus to strengthen your character & talents..
focusing on empowering yrself instead of the hurts & confusion#brokenhome will make you feel good abt yourself. it’s good for your ego
#brokenhome RT @GreatestQuotes: “At the center of yr being you have the answer; you know who you are & you know what you want..” – Lao Tsu
and when it’s time, my dear survivor friends, I believe you hv the bigger capacity to love & shine, all bcoz of yr #brokenhome past..
Only the strong admit their fears.. kata Barry Manilow.. but someday someone will make you glad you survive! … #brokenhome
so have a great journey to find your palce in the sun, all my#brokenhome survivor friends … thanks for sharing..
RT @IndahWiyoga: @AlissaWahid so, to a survivor from the#brokenhome, whatever ur cross, whatever ur pain, just believe.. (1)
RT @IndahWiyoga: @AlissaWahid so, to a survivor from the#brokenhome, just believe..There will always be a sunshine after the rain (2)
